Days to come

Masuk hari ni, dah 14 hari kite berpuase. Alhamdulillah, yang wajib and sunat banyak jugak aku dah buat. But I know I can do better. Lagi 6 hari, masuk last 10 days of Ramadhan, so any of those days could be Lailatul-Qada's night. So, nak up sikit ibadah, InsyaAllah... Hopefully, sesiapa yang bace post ni will follow as well. I was really looking forward for this Ramadhan, and so far enjoying my time doing all the ibadah, harap2 the mood stays until the end of Ramadhan and beyond.
InsyaAllah this weekend mama and sis' family are coming to kl. Bestnye, dapat jumpe anak-anak buah, boleh main dengan Khalif and "Peah". And most important of all, dapat jumpe my number 1 lady, my mum. Dapat rase masakan mama, dah more than 2 months kemaruk Kari Ayam, Rendang Ayam, Udang masak Merah and so on. So Isnin ni nak amik cuti, nak spend more time with mama, but unfortunately that means 4 hari tak jumpe my number 2 lady. Sedih la plak, confirm rindu nanti... Takpe, Rabu 1st of September nanti jumpe die, nak lepas rindu cukup2, tu pun kalau die nak ler~
Lately I've been thinking what my future holds. Bile nak buat PhD, berape lama keje kat Masterskill, when I'm getting married and most importantly with whom. Tu yang kadang2 stress x tentu pasal, hehe. Tapi nasib sekarang dah ade sedikit perubahan, I'm allowing myself to let God to do the work. Redha je on what will happen, yang penting I've done my best. Aku akan terus berusaha and after that the rest I leave it to Him because aku yakin He knows and will give the best for me. Sure, I can improve some more, but let's do it step by step. Financially, I'm doing ok so far, health is on my side, I have family and friends that I can count on, and my relationship dah pulih and makin stabil although I'm hoping it will get much better soon. Whatever happens, I don't want to have any regrets.
Ya Allah, give me strength and your blessings
Mama, you will always be number 1
F***, I will always love you as long as you allow me to
Dah, nak tido, nanti payah nak bangun sahur, pastu esok class pukul 7.30am (tapi start pukul 8, shh...) Nyte, Salam... :)

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Don't want to be alone...

Sejak dah bebrape tahun, aku bukak pose n bersahur mostly by myself. Terase lonely sangat2. I miss my mom, and I really miss breaking fast n sahur wif someone...Sejak aku jumpe this 1 person, I've fallen for her head over heels. Sekarang aku rase aku dah ready to go on the next stage in my life. My girl, Paan tau you will read this, so this is for you.
I love you now more than ever. You know that I'd do anything for you. I hope next Ramadhan will be at most the last time I will be breaking fast n bersahur by myself. After that, hopefully you will be waking me up around 4.45am untuk sahur same2, n then around 7.30pm kite berbuke puase same2. Kalau by next Ramadhan pun dah boleh macam tu, the better. You understand what I'm trying to say, right?
You know I'm damn serious in making you mine. Paan harap Paan tak perasan sorang2. Paan harap you are not playing with me. Paan tau you need time to heal and everything, but at the same time, while you're healing, Paan harap you have chosen me to be your life partner. Tell me that you can see that we can have a life together. Jadi atau tak, itu terletak di tangan tuhan, but at least I need to know if we are on the same page. Kalau you tak rase begitu, let me know... I hope it's me you choose, as I can't go down that horrible road again, where the thought of living without you will hurt me deeper than any wound will be able to. Walaupun sekarang kite not officially a couple because you say that you can't fulfill your duty as a girlfriend at the moment, but we still utter the L word to each other, and you still let me hold you. And I can see your love for me in your eyes. Please tell me they are real.
Dah, tu je yang terlintas dalam kepale Paan buat mase ni. Anything else, I'll say it to you. Right now I'm enjoying our time together, but you know I want more. I'm willing to wait, but I hope it's worth it. I said I want to make you my wife, and the thought haven't change. Just for fun, kalau you rase you want to be my life partner, buat lagi sekali macam last time yang you buat tu, tapi kalau xnak buat pun xpe... You know, while walking away, you say the title of the blog "A Simple Poem", only this time you say this title :) Konon2 belum bace, ceh! Kiut, tapi nakal =p
Oh, by the way, Paan tau you tak suke dipanggil "YOU", tapi Paan pun tau you don't want your name to be mentioned here, so that's why. I miss you, and I love you with all my heart. I'll see you this Monday, sayang :)

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A simple poem

I've loved before, but not like this
I've cared before, but not as much as this
I've been ready, but not until i met you i found out that i truly am

I've been down for a while, when you are far from my heart
But when you showed me you still care,
and when you utter that your love for me is still there
I start to smile, and suddenly I can smell again the fresh air

Will this relationship grow
or will it end like it did before?
Only God knows...
But until fate decides
I will always be there for you, no matter what
I will give my all, no matter what the outcome
And I pray that in the end, you will come to me,
so that we may build a world of our own, just the two of us

You are so beautiful to me
Your smile can light up a room
Your passion can give hope to any lost spirit
Your strength can hold any weight that the world throws at you
And those are only few out of many good traits that I see in you

I love Allah
I love the Prophet Muhammad
I love my mum
And by God, you are not far behind...

*Written by my heart, not copied from anywhere else ;)

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