a week in review

Ari ni whole day at home... bored like hell... da only time aku kuar is when to take my clothes from dobby and lunch. Just came back from dinner. I think i uttered not more than 30 words today. zzzzz....
Finished marking Nursing and Medical Imaging students' carry mark, so finally i got da chance to clean up my work station and relax. Fuh! It took me almost 3 weeks to finish those 'burdens', all the swearing and annoyed when you see students copy ecah other or from the internet, as if you can't detect them...
On Friday i celebrated my 1 month anniversary with my lady. Yeah, for some they might say '1 month? Big deal'. Well it is for me. After 'resting' for almost 5 months, i got back on my saddle and found me this wonderful lady, and i intend to keep this one. So what's wrong with celebrating the small deals? It started with one month, and it could lead to 1 year, 10 years and forever. Who knows? Thank you God, for giving me her, I hope You will allow us to be together and take our relationship to the destination that we intend to go to... Amin...
Last night me and my General Studies gang went for dinner together at a steamboat restaurant. The occasion was Ben's farewell dinner, as she's going back to Sabah this Tuesday. It's a bitter sweet for all of us. We gonna lose a wonderful companion, but she's going back to accompany her mom. And she's getting married this October. I wish you all the best, Jabulani,hehe.
Well, that's about it. This Wednesday is the 2nd workshop for our Research:"A Way Forward". I hope everything will go well. Until next time, Salam :)

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Don't want to be scared anymore...

Hm...i'm going through this again... will i get burnt? Will i get crushed? Or will i be going to sleep with tears in my eyes again... These are just some of the thoughts that's been playing in my mind. I'm feeling very comfortable with her, but still at the corner of my heart, fear is still lurking inside of me. Past experiences have left me with scars. Scars that will always be there and never go away. Damn skippy i'm afraid. Hell, i'm scared i could piss any moment. But does that mean i should stop trying?
The more i love her, the more i will be hurt if things go south. But why should i think like that? Maybe this time it will work out. Maybe this time, i finally end up with the happiness i've been craving for. Maybe, just maybe, this time her feelings for me is real as well. She sure looks that way. Am i predicting too soon? Maybe, but again, the heart tells you what you want, and right now it tells me that i should not be afraid any more.
Sure, shit happens to me many times before. But there's a saying, "Rain before the rainbow". Maybe my rainbow has finally arrive. I should take this moment and cherish everything that's been said and done between us. Yes, i do love her. And though i'm scared, i do trust her. If it's not meant to be, then i'll be in misery AGAIN but i'll move on. But whatever the outcome, i must and will give my all and try until the end. I don't want to look back someday, and ask myself,"What might have happen if i give my all..."
Ya Allah, help me, give me strength and give me happiness as You see fit. And let me continue this journey of life with her by my side, let us be together and follow the path that You lay in front of us. Amin...

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Great weekend

My mom n sis' family came to kl, spend da weekend with them @ maksu's house. Even have da opportunity to meet Uncle Amran n Uncle Mazlan's family as well.
We went shopping, and also watch World Cup together. I bought a pillow worth rm160 at the Gardens, and makyang spent rm1600 on Coach's handbag (10x more than my pillow,zzzz). The rest spent some money as well. Later that night, mama and maksu celebrated sis n my b'day together. A simple one, but appreciated nonetheless.
And then today i played with my nephew and niece, together with Kakwin's son. Had a great time with them, love each and everyone of them. And the best part is, i got to hug my mom :)
Just came back from maksu's house, all of us go back to our home at the same time. Hopefully we can have this kind of gathering again pretty soon. Still, in all that happiness, i'm missing someone dearly, i hope she knows that she's always on my mind. No prob, i'll see her tomorrow, InsyaAllah.

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One minute you're happy, the next you're sad...

That's life, isn't it? Full of happiness and sorrow. It can make you feel as if you are flying, but sometimes while you are flying high, someone just clip your wings and you come crashing down...
I haven't been this happy for a while now, and i never thought i could be this happy with someone this fast. I'm so much in love and i can't imagine being with anyone else at this moment. But it could be over as fast as it started...damn...
Wouldn't have done and said if i knew things will be like this. But i don't think i have any regrets. Anyhow, it's not like her fault. We are both in a predicament that we are not fully in control. But i hope she will fight for us, if i mean that much for her. She knows i'll be here, not planning going anywhere anytime soon.
Yeah, i've made up my mind. I'll fight for her! I'll do anything that's legal to keep us together. I also hope that i will not be fighting this alone, hopefully she'll be by my side in this obstacle we're about to go through. Because she means that much to me...

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