(~_~,)

Masih sakit bile pk pasal tu... It was clear as crystal, but now kelam macam buntot kuali... I knew what i want, and i was preparing myself for it. But now? I'm just doing things day by day basis.
I still can't talk about it. Bile open topic psl tu sikit je, sakit di hati terase sgt2. Mase menaip ni pun i feel like a big knife is stabing at my heart. A part of me still hoping, another part just feel like crap... Dunno what to think, dunno what to do. So I just let it flow, hopefully time will reveal all its mysteries. Hopefully iI will not do anything that I might regeret. And I believe God is planning something good for me in the end. So until then, i'll just ride this wave people call life...
That's it, will not talk much, because not feeling like sharing with anyone at the moment. I will face this by myself, and hopefully the wound will heal soon... Ouch...

Read more...

Jodoh - Mencari Yang Terlalu Sempurna

Jika kamu memancing ikan...
Setelah ikan itu terlekat di mata kail,
hendaklah kamu mengambil ikan itu...
Janganlah sesekali kamu LEPASKAN ia
semula ke dalam air begitu saja...
Karena ia akan SAKIT oleh kerana bisanya,
ketajaman mata kailmu dan mungkin ia akan MENDERITA selagi ia masih hidup.

Begitulah juga...

Setelah kamu memberi banyak PENGHARAPAN kepada seseorang...
Setelah ia mulai MENYAYANGIMU,
hendaklah kamu MENJAGA hatinya...
Janganlah sesekali kamu meninggalkannya begitu saja...
Kerana dia akan TERLUKA oleh kenangan bersamamu,
dan mungkin TIDAK dapat MELUPAKAN segalanya selagi dia mengingatmu...

Jika kamu menadah air biarlah berpada,
jangan terlalu mengharap pada takungannya dan janganlah menganggap ia
begitu teguh... cukuplah sekadar keperluanmu...
Apabila sekali ia retak... tentu sukar untuk kamu menambalnya semula...
Akhirnya ia dibuang...

Sedangkan jika kamu cuba memperbaikinya mungkin ia masih dapat dipergunakan
lagi...
Begitu juga jika kamu memiliki seseorang, TERIMALAH seadanya...
Janganlah kamu terlalu mengaguminya dan janganlah kamu menganggapnya begitu
istimewa...
Anggaplah dia manusia biasa. Apabila sekali dia melakukan KESILAPAN bukan
mudah bagi kamu untuk menerimanya...
Akhirnya kamu KECEWA dan meninggalkannya.

Sedangkan jika kamu MEMAAFKANNYA boleh jadi hubungan kamu akan TERUS hingga
ke akhirnya....

Jika kamu telah memiliki sepinggan nasi,
yang kamu pasti baik untuk dirimu...
Mengenyangkan. Berkhasiat.
Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba mencari makanan yang lain...
Terlalu ingin mengejar kelazatan...
Kelak, nasi itu akan basi dan kamu tidak boleh memakannya...
Kamu akan menyesal.

Begitu juga jika kamu telah bertemu dengan seorang insan,
yang pasti membawa KEBAIKAN kepada dirimu.
MENYAYANGIMU... MENGASIHIMU...
Mengapa kamu berlengah,
cuba MEMBANDINGKANNYA dengan yang lain.
Terlalu mengejar kesempurnaan.
Kelak, kamu akan KEHILANGANNYA apabila dia menjadi milik orang lain
Kamu juga yang akan MENYESAL...

- Artikel iluvislam.com

Read more...

Untitled

Hm...wonder what today may bring... At the end of the day, will I look back with a smile, or another disappointing feeling of sadness and loneliness... Whatever it is, I pray that Allah will give me the best. Even if today is not a good day for me, I believe that He's preparing something big for me tomorrow. Something that I can cheer with joy and full of praise for Him.
Ya Allah, Engkau bantulah umat-umatMu, mereka yang beriman Engkau mudahkanlah dugaanMu, yang tidak Engkau tunjukkanlah jalan kepada mereka agar mereka kembali kepada Engkau. Ya Rahman ya Rahim, Engkau bantulah hambamu ini agar aku dapat kebahagiaan yang aku sangat-sangat dambakan. Biarlah aku disatukan dengannya di dunia dan diakhirat. Dan Engkau bantulah beliau, agar beliau sentiasa bersyukur dan redha dengan segala apa yang berlaku. Dan ya Allah, Engkau janganlah sesatkan kami dari jalanMU, dan agar kami sentiasa sedar akan kelemahan diri dan berusaha memperbaiki diri kami, sesungguhnya balasanMu adalah pedih dan azab. Amin...

Read more...

Selamat hari raya Aidil Adha part 2

Tadi lepas solat subuh Paan bertakbirla raye. Nangis sorang2 mase bertakbir... :'(

Read more...

Selamat hari raya Aidil Adha

Salam
Well, this will be the 1st time aku x sambut raye with my mom... Terase hiba sgt2... Rase keseorangan dalam bilik ni... Esok adela jgk kuar dgn kwn2 (InsyaAllah), but I don't feel excited much. Teringat rendang mama...
My family x celebrate Aidil Adha sgt, and for years now selalunye mama will come to KL and stay at Maksu's house, so I can just go there and spend time with her. This year celebrate kat Ipoh plak, and then Masterskill amik cuti 1 hari je. Macam malas nak berulang atau amik extra holiday, so I decided to stay. Well, right now I feel all alone, nobody to care for me here, i guess...
Xpelah, ape boleh buat. Dah rase crappy for 1 month now, nobody to talk to, so I guess it don't make much difference. Esok niat nak g Masjid kat PGA solat Aidil Adha, so maybe tido awal ckit mlm nih.
Hehe, tgh tulis ni, mama just called me. And then she said mama tgh masak rendang. Lagila rase sedih,huhu...
Anyway, to all Muslim readers I wish u all selamat hari raya Aidil Adha. For non-muslim, hepi holiday. Salam :)

Read more...

the new me?

It's been 2,3 weeks now I'm not in a good mood. Even my friends said I've changed. I know I have. But what worries me is that, I don't give a damn...
Tension with everything that's happening with my life right now. I feel lost. I feel angry. I feel alone... Tadi g tgk cter Megamind 3D. Enjoyed the movie, lupe kejap masalah. Tapi abis je movie, trus ingat blk all the craps I'm dealing with. Adeh... God help me, don't let me do anything that I might regret.
Tomorrow I'm going to see mama. You see, she's coming to KL with my sis' family. At least I can play with my niece and nephew, and can spend time with mama. Harap2 boleh lupekan masalah kejap. However I know bile blk Cheras the problem will be waiting for me. Hopefully I can talk it out this coming Monday or the following days. Nak settle secpt yg mungkin. Dh x blh tahan. Lagi tunggu, lagi tension. Byk lg hal ln nak uruskan, so I'm settling it one by one. I don't want to be a typical Malay. Sume nak hold, sume nak tggu later. Mls nak pikir la konon2, walhal, lg lame lg parah. Sbb lg tggu, makin teruk, mcm virus. Ntahla.
Fuck...feel like want to punch someone...

Read more...

Got something to tell you

A few things I want to get off my chest, but unfortunately I can't say it here, as we both like to keep our problems to ourselves. Tulis sini kang org ln bace, so xde privacy plak nnt. Just... I hope that you try to be more mature and stop thinking only about yourself. You got people around you who care for you (me included) and you're still complaining. Don't take them for granted (especially me) because some things you might regret after it's gone. Allah is great, He's testing both of us right now. I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired and weaker every passing day, but I will keep on fighting till the end. Honest, I don't know how long I can take this, but as long as I can, I will keep hanging on, praying that He will give me strength to carry on. It's not easy, no it's not. And it gets worse when you are not pitching in...
That's all I'm going to say here. Actually there's few other stuff I need to tell, probably advice you. But I will wait until you are ready to talk. Hope you will come and talk to me, about sharing problems or what not, as that is the only thing that I want from you for now. Sedih and kecewa when you pretend that I don't even exist... I don't ask much, and we both know I gave more than you deserve. I x berkire with people that I care, but I need to feel cared and loved as well, as I am only human... Wallahhuallam...

Read more...

New Template

em, puas aku dh tkr new template. Dunno why the last 1 got prob with its' interface. Yg baru ni suppose ade gambar pemandangan, mane ilang?
Bzkan ckit dgn buat blog, and then soalan final. Stress, muke masam je memanjang. Ntahla, still bile bt keje x pk sgt things that makes me feel down. Tapi bile stop teringat balik...adeh...
God is Great. Dia uji umatNya selalu. I've tried and still doing my best to get the best outcome. But He knows best, so I leave it in His hands...but that does not mean I'm giving up. Just that while trying again and again and again, I have to learn to accept His doings. Satu-satu hal dtg, so let's dance!
Hurm....

Read more...

Life

I'm back. Plenty of things to say, just not in the mood to say it. So i'll say as much as I can.
Convo dah abis, gain lots of experiences. Dapat blaja cmane orang bengong buat keje, and as well as how to conduct things properly. The last 1 month was quite something. Dapat spend time with my girl, walaupun ade je gaduh because of work. Tapi biasela, we both are grown ups, so we don't take it to our hearts. Now convo dah abis, time kat office dah free ckit. I miss working with my girl. Ingat balik, I did managed to know her better. All her baik buruk. But like I said to her months ago, baik buruk die aku trime...
Life will always have challenges. Skg dah abis convo, dtg satu masalah mini plak... I dunno why, whether it's my fault, or just about jealousy, but some of the people that I know are not talking to me. This started even during the convo preparations. Susahla mcm ni, nak jage n faham hati sumne org, why can't they try to understand me. Am I being arrogant? Mcm la x knl aku ni cmane, suke bt kecoh2 n bising, aren't we all? Sometimes mengeluh and meluahkan perasaan after a hard days work, salah ke? And I said it to my friends because I want to share. Guess some people took it the wrong way. Sabar jela, like 2 people said to me, leave it like that, and the wave shall wash away all the matters.
After this ade couple of programs I would like to join. Nak aktif selagi Allah bagi kemampuan. And because I enjoy doing it. And then I want to BEHAVE myself to my girl's request. I will try to suit myself to her liking, but still be myself. In another word, the better version of me. Girl, I'm doing this for you. I'm listening, and "repairing" all my weaknesses, and I hope you will do the same too...
Ok, nak main game jap, n then seterika baju keje. Thanks for reading, all of you out there. Salam

Read more...

Been a while

Dah lame x tulis kat blog ni. This past 2,3 weeks have been busy. Nevermind, dah abis my business next weekend, i'll wrap it all up.
Btw, now i know who are my new viewers. Welcome guys, but yang kene kutuknye aku, wahaha. Nevermind :)

Read more...

Recap

Yesterday was a good day for me. I went to Jalan TAR to buy baju raya. I wanted to go there because last year I had fun shopping there with my friend, Nina. But this year I really wanted to go there but this time with "her". With God's blessing and her willingness, we went there together.
I bought a baju raya, Raihan style as well as 2 tudungs for mama and sis. Both were chosen by her. She already went there, I think with her family, early last month, so she only bought chocolate cake, as she is a chocolate addict, uhu! We went there early in the morning, so there were not a lot of people around. So we managed to shop without any hassle.
Beggers can't be choosers. I really wanted to spend time with her, and when she agreed to accompany me to Jalan TAR, I was so excited! When I think about it, we've gone out twice the time when we were a "couple". In 3 weeks time, we already gone out twice, and since the "break-up", we are now closer than ever. Well, at least that's what I feel. In this short 3, 4 weeks we are spending more time now, and everytime we're together, all my problems or tiredness are gone. And yesterday while shopping and afterwards, I could feel her love for me like I never felt before. She was caring, funny, sweet, and what a sight she was... I sure hope it's real, because on my part, I love her more than ever before. I felt the joy that was missing in my life several weeks ago, the joy that can make your day just in an instant. Even one of my friends said she can see I'm so much in love on my face. Wow... God is great. He takes back when I was lost, but He gives back when I found back the road. I never want to be lost again. Thank you, oh Mighty Allah...
I'm not sure when I'm gonna write again in this blog, maybe in few days, maybe a week after raya. But hopefully there will only be good things to write when I come back, because right now I'm happy and I would like to stay like that. I have 1 thing that I want the most, and I intent to keep it that way.

Read more...

Days to come

Masuk hari ni, dah 14 hari kite berpuase. Alhamdulillah, yang wajib and sunat banyak jugak aku dah buat. But I know I can do better. Lagi 6 hari, masuk last 10 days of Ramadhan, so any of those days could be Lailatul-Qada's night. So, nak up sikit ibadah, InsyaAllah... Hopefully, sesiapa yang bace post ni will follow as well. I was really looking forward for this Ramadhan, and so far enjoying my time doing all the ibadah, harap2 the mood stays until the end of Ramadhan and beyond.
InsyaAllah this weekend mama and sis' family are coming to kl. Bestnye, dapat jumpe anak-anak buah, boleh main dengan Khalif and "Peah". And most important of all, dapat jumpe my number 1 lady, my mum. Dapat rase masakan mama, dah more than 2 months kemaruk Kari Ayam, Rendang Ayam, Udang masak Merah and so on. So Isnin ni nak amik cuti, nak spend more time with mama, but unfortunately that means 4 hari tak jumpe my number 2 lady. Sedih la plak, confirm rindu nanti... Takpe, Rabu 1st of September nanti jumpe die, nak lepas rindu cukup2, tu pun kalau die nak ler~
Lately I've been thinking what my future holds. Bile nak buat PhD, berape lama keje kat Masterskill, when I'm getting married and most importantly with whom. Tu yang kadang2 stress x tentu pasal, hehe. Tapi nasib sekarang dah ade sedikit perubahan, I'm allowing myself to let God to do the work. Redha je on what will happen, yang penting I've done my best. Aku akan terus berusaha and after that the rest I leave it to Him because aku yakin He knows and will give the best for me. Sure, I can improve some more, but let's do it step by step. Financially, I'm doing ok so far, health is on my side, I have family and friends that I can count on, and my relationship dah pulih and makin stabil although I'm hoping it will get much better soon. Whatever happens, I don't want to have any regrets.
Ya Allah, give me strength and your blessings
Mama, you will always be number 1
F***, I will always love you as long as you allow me to
Dah, nak tido, nanti payah nak bangun sahur, pastu esok class pukul 7.30am (tapi start pukul 8, shh...) Nyte, Salam... :)

Read more...

Don't want to be alone...

Sejak dah bebrape tahun, aku bukak pose n bersahur mostly by myself. Terase lonely sangat2. I miss my mom, and I really miss breaking fast n sahur wif someone...Sejak aku jumpe this 1 person, I've fallen for her head over heels. Sekarang aku rase aku dah ready to go on the next stage in my life. My girl, Paan tau you will read this, so this is for you.
I love you now more than ever. You know that I'd do anything for you. I hope next Ramadhan will be at most the last time I will be breaking fast n bersahur by myself. After that, hopefully you will be waking me up around 4.45am untuk sahur same2, n then around 7.30pm kite berbuke puase same2. Kalau by next Ramadhan pun dah boleh macam tu, the better. You understand what I'm trying to say, right?
You know I'm damn serious in making you mine. Paan harap Paan tak perasan sorang2. Paan harap you are not playing with me. Paan tau you need time to heal and everything, but at the same time, while you're healing, Paan harap you have chosen me to be your life partner. Tell me that you can see that we can have a life together. Jadi atau tak, itu terletak di tangan tuhan, but at least I need to know if we are on the same page. Kalau you tak rase begitu, let me know... I hope it's me you choose, as I can't go down that horrible road again, where the thought of living without you will hurt me deeper than any wound will be able to. Walaupun sekarang kite not officially a couple because you say that you can't fulfill your duty as a girlfriend at the moment, but we still utter the L word to each other, and you still let me hold you. And I can see your love for me in your eyes. Please tell me they are real.
Dah, tu je yang terlintas dalam kepale Paan buat mase ni. Anything else, I'll say it to you. Right now I'm enjoying our time together, but you know I want more. I'm willing to wait, but I hope it's worth it. I said I want to make you my wife, and the thought haven't change. Just for fun, kalau you rase you want to be my life partner, buat lagi sekali macam last time yang you buat tu, tapi kalau xnak buat pun xpe... You know, while walking away, you say the title of the blog "A Simple Poem", only this time you say this title :) Konon2 belum bace, ceh! Kiut, tapi nakal =p
Oh, by the way, Paan tau you tak suke dipanggil "YOU", tapi Paan pun tau you don't want your name to be mentioned here, so that's why. I miss you, and I love you with all my heart. I'll see you this Monday, sayang :)

Read more...

A simple poem

I've loved before, but not like this
I've cared before, but not as much as this
I've been ready, but not until i met you i found out that i truly am

I've been down for a while, when you are far from my heart
But when you showed me you still care,
and when you utter that your love for me is still there
I start to smile, and suddenly I can smell again the fresh air

Will this relationship grow
or will it end like it did before?
Only God knows...
But until fate decides
I will always be there for you, no matter what
I will give my all, no matter what the outcome
And I pray that in the end, you will come to me,
so that we may build a world of our own, just the two of us

You are so beautiful to me
Your smile can light up a room
Your passion can give hope to any lost spirit
Your strength can hold any weight that the world throws at you
And those are only few out of many good traits that I see in you

I love Allah
I love the Prophet Muhammad
I love my mum
And by God, you are not far behind...

*Written by my heart, not copied from anywhere else ;)

Read more...

I wonder...

Wow, haven't had anything much to say for a while now, but there's something i would like to let out of my chest...
Why plenty of men is this world are such idiots? Dah banyak aku tengok, whether in fb or real life, my female friends complaining that their beau took them for granted. They complained that their guy after a while do not treat them well anymore.
What's wrong with the male gender?? You got these beautiful and intelligent ladies loving you, and when you've captured their heart, you just blurred out? And when they want to be let go, then you start to regret. That's the good case, there are some that start blaming the ladies. I don't know the whole story, but if you got a smart, loving and independent lady by your side, and if things go wrong, i think it's best to check yourself 1st.
You see, this is why life is not fair. Whether male or female, when we are ready to give everything, the other half is the one who are not fully committed. If there's a problem, it's understandable, but i'm talking about you numbnuts who got nothing bad going on for you. There are people out there who wish they could have that kind of love, but some of you people take it for granted. Idiots! I will not put my relationship in this category, as the love of my life is having her own problems. And if i'm true to her, i'll be there for her no matter what. Am i doing the right thing here? I hope so, and i believe i am, because i feel that to get the best, we have to give the best. Same goes to the rest out there, if you feel he/she's the right one for you, fight for your relationship. Whatever happens, at least you will not have any regrets, and you will not think "what if..."
I'm happy i have family and friends who are by my side, and i know God is taking good care of me, and i truly grateful for that. Now all i have to do is get a life partner and I believe i've found her. Now all i have to do is to be a better Ummah, save money for our marriage and wait for her to cross the busy road, as i'll be waiting and holding her hands to help her in any way i can, no matter how long it'll take, to reach our destination together, InsyaAllah...

Read more...

a week in review

Ari ni whole day at home... bored like hell... da only time aku kuar is when to take my clothes from dobby and lunch. Just came back from dinner. I think i uttered not more than 30 words today. zzzzz....
Finished marking Nursing and Medical Imaging students' carry mark, so finally i got da chance to clean up my work station and relax. Fuh! It took me almost 3 weeks to finish those 'burdens', all the swearing and annoyed when you see students copy ecah other or from the internet, as if you can't detect them...
On Friday i celebrated my 1 month anniversary with my lady. Yeah, for some they might say '1 month? Big deal'. Well it is for me. After 'resting' for almost 5 months, i got back on my saddle and found me this wonderful lady, and i intend to keep this one. So what's wrong with celebrating the small deals? It started with one month, and it could lead to 1 year, 10 years and forever. Who knows? Thank you God, for giving me her, I hope You will allow us to be together and take our relationship to the destination that we intend to go to... Amin...
Last night me and my General Studies gang went for dinner together at a steamboat restaurant. The occasion was Ben's farewell dinner, as she's going back to Sabah this Tuesday. It's a bitter sweet for all of us. We gonna lose a wonderful companion, but she's going back to accompany her mom. And she's getting married this October. I wish you all the best, Jabulani,hehe.
Well, that's about it. This Wednesday is the 2nd workshop for our Research:"A Way Forward". I hope everything will go well. Until next time, Salam :)

Read more...

Don't want to be scared anymore...

Hm...i'm going through this again... will i get burnt? Will i get crushed? Or will i be going to sleep with tears in my eyes again... These are just some of the thoughts that's been playing in my mind. I'm feeling very comfortable with her, but still at the corner of my heart, fear is still lurking inside of me. Past experiences have left me with scars. Scars that will always be there and never go away. Damn skippy i'm afraid. Hell, i'm scared i could piss any moment. But does that mean i should stop trying?
The more i love her, the more i will be hurt if things go south. But why should i think like that? Maybe this time it will work out. Maybe this time, i finally end up with the happiness i've been craving for. Maybe, just maybe, this time her feelings for me is real as well. She sure looks that way. Am i predicting too soon? Maybe, but again, the heart tells you what you want, and right now it tells me that i should not be afraid any more.
Sure, shit happens to me many times before. But there's a saying, "Rain before the rainbow". Maybe my rainbow has finally arrive. I should take this moment and cherish everything that's been said and done between us. Yes, i do love her. And though i'm scared, i do trust her. If it's not meant to be, then i'll be in misery AGAIN but i'll move on. But whatever the outcome, i must and will give my all and try until the end. I don't want to look back someday, and ask myself,"What might have happen if i give my all..."
Ya Allah, help me, give me strength and give me happiness as You see fit. And let me continue this journey of life with her by my side, let us be together and follow the path that You lay in front of us. Amin...

Read more...

Great weekend

My mom n sis' family came to kl, spend da weekend with them @ maksu's house. Even have da opportunity to meet Uncle Amran n Uncle Mazlan's family as well.
We went shopping, and also watch World Cup together. I bought a pillow worth rm160 at the Gardens, and makyang spent rm1600 on Coach's handbag (10x more than my pillow,zzzz). The rest spent some money as well. Later that night, mama and maksu celebrated sis n my b'day together. A simple one, but appreciated nonetheless.
And then today i played with my nephew and niece, together with Kakwin's son. Had a great time with them, love each and everyone of them. And the best part is, i got to hug my mom :)
Just came back from maksu's house, all of us go back to our home at the same time. Hopefully we can have this kind of gathering again pretty soon. Still, in all that happiness, i'm missing someone dearly, i hope she knows that she's always on my mind. No prob, i'll see her tomorrow, InsyaAllah.

Read more...

One minute you're happy, the next you're sad...

That's life, isn't it? Full of happiness and sorrow. It can make you feel as if you are flying, but sometimes while you are flying high, someone just clip your wings and you come crashing down...
I haven't been this happy for a while now, and i never thought i could be this happy with someone this fast. I'm so much in love and i can't imagine being with anyone else at this moment. But it could be over as fast as it started...damn...
Wouldn't have done and said if i knew things will be like this. But i don't think i have any regrets. Anyhow, it's not like her fault. We are both in a predicament that we are not fully in control. But i hope she will fight for us, if i mean that much for her. She knows i'll be here, not planning going anywhere anytime soon.
Yeah, i've made up my mind. I'll fight for her! I'll do anything that's legal to keep us together. I also hope that i will not be fighting this alone, hopefully she'll be by my side in this obstacle we're about to go through. Because she means that much to me...

Read more...

Road trip

Today (Sunday,30/5) i went to Muar with like 15 of my friends/colleagues. We went to one of our friends' wedding there. It was a fun journey, making jokes and sharing stories the whole journey. It was quite tiring, but worth it nevertheless. Next week another trip to Johor, this time another of our friends' wedding as well. I wonder when it is my turn, huhu...
Anyhow, during the journey i also kept remembering someone in Selangor, the one who prayed that i have a safe journey. Wow, it was great to feel concerned for, other than my mom. I'm having this one kind of a feeling, something that has been missing for months now. Cool, now i can hold on to this feeling and let it cherish :)

Read more...

Get back to my old self

Wow, haven't been here for quite a while now. Been buzy, and yes, been lazy as well. Nothing much to say, same old. but here i got a thing to say...
I've been arrogant... i didn't realize it until my friends told me. I've changed, they said, and not in the good way. Yes, i've improved on certain aspects, but in social skill? I've been arrogant... Damn, i didn't even realize it, because i was so into myself. I was in a dark room, ignoring everything and everyone around me. I've become people that i don't like. Thanks my friends, for giving me the hard truth. And thanks for "slapping me right in the face". I really appreciate it. Ok, i got to be my old self back, with minor adjustment. According to one, if i used to be 100% crazy, now i can remain 70% crazy and the other 30% mature. I need to care for everyone. And what most important, i need not forget my friends that's been with me all this while. Yes, i made some new friends, but i can't just leave out my old ones out. I'm truly sorry my friends, as i am just a normal human being, with flaws and all... But now that i've realize my errors, i will improve and rectify all my errors and mistakes. I will be better, the new and improved Farhan, that i can promise you. Take it as Farhan version 2.1 :)

Read more...

The new chapter of my life

By this time tomorrow, i'll be 27 years old... Wow, i've lived more than a quarter of a century, learned a lot, missed out a lot as well. I've gained valueable lessons in life through experiences, mistakes and guidance. Because of my laziness, i've also miss out to be greater than i am right now, which i know i can achieve if i had that zest to go further. I also made some mistakes that i can't change, but i learned from it to be a better person and Ummah. Besides that, i found out the hard way that life is cruel, i can't trust people as easy as i used to, because not everyone is nice, and if i'm not carefully, life will bite me right in the ass.
Life is a mystery. I heard before that anything good will not last long. Even good people that we meet, God will take them away from us after a while (not necessarily dead, maybe transferred or go to different places). I got the opportunity to meet plenty of amazing people in my life, and they don't hang around long. But that is one of life's mysteries. Everything happens for a reason. I'm just glad that some of those amazing people are still in contact with me. Who knows, God is great, in the future our path may meet again at a certain junction in our lives. Like a special friend of mine said to me, "I'll see you when I see you" ;)
Well, for those who face problems or happiness but did not learn anything from it, it's never too late. I'm myself took time to 'grow up'. Just stay true to your loved ones, be ourselves, and never forget Allah s.w.t. then Insya'Allah everything will be just fine. To all my family members and friends, near or far, i just want to thank you for all the time that we spent together, i will cherish the moment that we spent together, and i hope we will meet again soon. My prayers will always be with you... Alright, time to start that new chapter of mine. Don't worry people, you all are in this new chapter as well :)

Read more...

Seandainya dia milikku...

That's a line from In-Team's song lyric in 'Doa Seorang Kekasih'. God, i believe you will give me a life partner worth a thousand lifetime. Till then i will wait for her to come. But please give me strength to withstand any challenges that You may lay in front of me, so i will be strong to face obstacles and won't commit sins that can wrath Your anger. Whatever might happen or whoever it may be, i know You only want to give the best for me as only You know. I thank you God, for all the happiness and luxury You gave me, and what may come my way, and i accept all the things that You may put to test my loyalty, as i am your humble servant...
If she is the one for me, how far or impossible it may be, she will be mine. I accept all her greatness as well as her flaws. If not, please let our relationship never ends, even as friends, because a diamond is rarely found, and when it is found, i intend to keep and cherish it. Ukhwahfillah...
Jika tiada, Kau berikanlah,
jika jauh, Kau dekatkan,
jika dekat, Kau rapatkan,
jika rapat, Kau permudahkanlah,
dengan keinginanmu, Kau putikkanlah benih cinta,
supaya ku dan dia dapat melayar bahtera
ke muara cinta yang Engkau redhai...
Amin...

Read more...

BONUS!! :D

Alhamdulillah,bonus masuk today. N i got more than i thought. So, bolehla proceed with my original plan; Renew license and insurance, paint the scratches on the both of my car doors on the left side, and change the speaker n cd player in my car (most of my $$ will be spent on my car :/ ). N then spend some on myself, on my mother, and the rest put inside ASB. What do u guys think?
This last few days has been quite crazy in a quiet way. Can't fight the feeling, but have to! What's wrong is wrong, if not God will punish me. If it's meant to be, then something will work out on its own. Until then, i will keep telling myself, Just stay at the border, do not cross it!

Read more...

Sungai Congkak

There's nothing much to report, all dull n boring until today (Sun, 11/4). Visited da place today wif some friends. Kak Aini, Nina, Shikin, Hooi Leng, Mimi n bf, Dr Nagashekar n family, Dr Mahindren, Kiran n Asif. Had lots of fun. We played n laugh, barbecue n i even slept in a tent for the 1st time. All of them r nice n friendly, so it was all good. Thanx for a wonderful day, guys.
Oh btw, i scratched my car (front and back door on the left side) on Saturday, now have to go n paint it. Probably gonna cost me aound RM300, shoot man... It's my fault, i langgar dinding, so can't claim from anyone. Zzzz...
Well, that's all i have to say, until next time, ciao!

Read more...

Sarah's wedding

Today i went to Sarah's wedding with my colleagues. Sarah is a Masterskill staff, she's my committee member in 'Research:"A Way Forward" ' programme. The wedding was nice, but Sarah looked beautiful besides her groom.
Oh, by the way, on Friday night i just spent RM136 buying Marvel:Civil War comic at Midvalley. Worth every penny! The storyline was marvelous, the painting's superb, and the ending is something to remember. Now looking forward to buy Thor's edition where he beat the living crap of Iron Man, X-men/Avengers: Utopia X, and Dark Reign. Damn, Marvel's flying high. After that i went to watch How to Train Your Dragon 3D for the second time, this time with Kak Aini, Nina and Syikin.
That's the update, nothing much exciting happened, but spent plenty of quality time with my friends :)

Read more...

In the memory of AEH 3664

Yea, i just sold my motorbike on wednesday...
It's Yamaha Lagenda 102cc, maroon in colour. I got it when i entered Form 6, that was in 2002 if i'm not mistaken. It was my first ever property that worth more than rm2000, although it's Mama who bought it for me, but still... That bike has served me well, and after all these years, still functioning pretty well. God, i love that bike, but it's not mine now. I sold it to my friend, Zack from terengganu, but i know he will take a very good care of it. Like my friend Usaid said, "better u sell it to someone who will love it as how u do". So i did. Well, bye bike, my first "wife" and loyal companion...
Nothing much happening this week. Just went to Pesta Hot Air Balloon on Saturday at Putrajaya. Didn't have da chance to ride one, as there's soo many people and the tickets were sold out. Then later went for bowling at Alamanda. Today, i went to Masterskill bowling competition at Mines, didn't intend to play, but they put me in a group with some paramedic students. And dear God, they were all soo damn cute! My friends were jealous i got to be in da same team, and i can't perform well because of "distractions" (lets just say da girls were nice to cheer me and i try to control macho, hehe). Anyway, in half an hour i'm going to Malini's house, we're having a dinner with most English Unit lecturers and some few friends. Yummy!

Read more...

Bukit Tabur: Conquered

Damn right, i did! hehe...
as early as 7am, we climbed Buit Tabur @ Taman Melawati. All 11 of us help each other to conquer not only da hill, but also our fears. Took us about 2 hours to reach to the top. It was no easy journey, plenty of sharp rocks, cliff climbing and sloppy hills. Our right and left sides are juram. (What's juram in English? Lupe plak...) I really enjoyed da climb, though it was really dangerous. But, all of us came back unharmed :) I gave my mom a call, n told her bout da journey, managed to give her a scare, wahaha!
After that we went for lunch, n around 2 we continue our journey to Sungai Pisang. From where we parked our car, it took us around half an hour to get to our destination. We had plenty of fun there: swimming, barbecue and teasing each other. We only came back home around 6 something.
Nice programme today, getting fitter if i continue doing this kind of activities. Enjoy doing it with my friends, so now planning for tomorrow's programme. Alice in Wonderland in 3D, anyone?

Read more...

Research: "A Way Forward"

Today's da day of da workshop. I'm da programme director, in charge 4 da 1st time. Everything went smoothly, Deputy VCs, Deans and plenty of people came to da workshop. I was nervous giving da opening speech, looking at all da big people in the audience. Never mind, da workshop is not about me, so it really doesn't matter. Da speakers did a good presentation, it was a very knowledgeable event. I'm hepi with my team, everyone pitched in more than they should. Of course there were flaws and problems, but at the end of the day, i'm glad that i have an amazing team. Thanks guys, looking forward to our 2nd workshop :D
Just came back from watching movie, going to sleep in a couple of minutes. Tomorrow is another day, blessed by Allah. Looking forward to the next positive challenge in my life, and right now i'm feeling good, not sure why but i like this feeling. Is it because.... hehe...

Read more...

Salam Maulidur Rasul

Assallamualaikum wahai saudara2 Islam ku sekalian. Hope we are enjoying today's wonderful day as God give us another day to cherish. And what a special day it is today, as Maulud Nabi is da occasion. I pray for our happiness and may we be closer to Allah each passing day. To all my non-Muslim friends, have a good holiday :)
My mom's in KL until tomorrow, she'll be staying with Maksu. So i'm seeing her after Maghrib. Also can see Khaleef and Fia, my nephew and niece.
Well, nothing much to update, except next Thursday will be my workshop day, hope everything will go smoothly. Hehe, still hepi, no major problems in my life, so Alhamdulillah... :)

Read more...

Perlus Waterfall

Today i went to this place with my new group of friends, all 11 of us. It is located near Sungai Gabai. Wow, it was a nice place, we went for swimming, lunch together and also fishing. We were at da place from noon till late evening. But that's not da best part...
To get to da waterfall, we have to walk (jungle trekking) for almost 3 hours! Yeah, 3 hours! When we were going to da place, it took us about 2 hours 40 minutes, but on da way back only about 2 hours 15 minutes. We have to go through rough terrains and thick bushes. My left leg is not functioning properly at da moment, hehe. I really hurt my thigh and my kneecap. It's really painful when i bend my knee, so right now i can't walk properly,huhu. But it was worth it. I spent some quality times with my friends from as early as 7.20am till dusk. I get to know them better, and vice versa. It was a pleasant memory. I'm looking forward to our next adventure, hopefully they accept me as one of them :)
Concerning my last camp, i'm still bring my positive attitude to workplace. I'm still maintain good relationship with ALMOST everyone, and i hope it'll last. My colleagues are also treating me nicely, so it's a nice thing for a change. Thank you Lord, now i got two groups of friends, and i love them both ;)

Read more...

Wall climbing

Semalam g wall climbing, hehe, terkangkang2 aku... Best, sume try panjat. Ziza and Rajan pun sampai ke atas. Aku terkedek2 jgk, tp reach jgk to da top. Tangan lenguh, tp enjoy. Skg blh masuk in my resume, "wall climbing", hehe. Dh dpt another new group, syok sgt dpt hang out wif them. So guys, what's next?
It's been just over a week since da team training camp @ Eco Dusun, n i'm still smiling whenever i look at da photos taken there. I'm still feeling good since da trip, now got to keep up da good spirit and attitude for da whole 40 days, because according to Mr Shan da counselor, if i can keep it up that long, it will stick. Things are going fine for me right now, good health, good relationship wif frens, all-in-all everything's great. I know things will not remain as it is forever, i just hope when da bad time comes, i'll be able to handle it in a proper way. N i know my frens will support me all da way. TEAMWORK!! :D

Read more...

Memory @ Eco Dusun

Seronoknye pegi Program Team Training kat Eco Dusun, thank you Lord... Rase sedih sgt2 bile dh balik, sbb we're back to reality... It was a good break for me, get closer to nature and bonded with most of the people there. Yg mmg dh geng i tu x payah mention la, u guys always rock! But to the others, Kak Diyana, Ustaz Kamal n Anwar, Aishah, Kak Sha, Penguin, Ganesan n roommatenye Rajan and Azrai, i'm soo hepi i got to know u guys better. N to those i didn't mention, u guys r great as well. I hope we were genuinely close during our time there, and maintain if not improve our relationship, as friends as well as colleagues.
Seronok sesgt dpt buat all da activies wif u guys. Buat bridge, trust game, bt rakit and so on. Time main same2 in da pool was also memorable... and da in-class activity was very knowledgeable and informative. I'm sure we've learned a lot, and probably share it with other ppl. Thanks a lot to Mr Shan, Grace, En Atal n da others who helped. Klu ade peluang, hope we all can do sumthing together, all of us :)
I wish we r all changed ppl for da better, after this. Looking forward working wif u guys, let's make our workplace a fun place to be!! And last but not least, GO TEAMWORK!! :D

Read more...

Hepi today

Hm... feel good this morning. Hope it'll last the day, hope it'll last forever, hehe
Sabtu 1 hari bertugas for da inter-varsity netball, balik umah je after maghrib trus tido until 11pm, after 1 hour sambung balik tido, huhu. Tired, but had fun with my frens. Looking forward to da next programme. And then yesterday went to watch Tooth Fairy, nice movie. I tergelak2, really like Dwayne Johnson berlakon. And this morning i feel good, don't ask me why, i'm just hepi. Hope it will not be spoilt.
Later nak g Giant, beli some cheap clothes for da team building this Thursday. Kalau baju murah rosak atau unwashable, xla sedih sangat. Ni kalu baju Cheetah, menangis x berlagu aku... After that, got few stuff to uruskan, don't worry, bkn bt keje salah.
Hope my prob is finally over, and it will be buried forever. Xnak benda bodoh ni berbangkit @ berulang lagi. I don't want to go through it again. Once is more than enough, and pray to God after this i will only meet decent people, whether in social or love life :) But this is a very valueble experience for me, as it makes me think that we can't fully trust someone at 1 go, and this world is not as beautiful as i thought it was. It has been tarnished by people who are selfish and evil, hehe. Guess i have to maintain my chivalry and goodness in me, so that at least i know i'm doing something right in this world. Tp aku ni pun bknla baik sgt pun,hehe... And to my friend Piah, i pray everything will be fine for you, start over and be what you want to be. Don't make the same mistakes, and ignore all the unnescessary bullshit. That's what i'm doing right now. I forgive, but i don't forget. I know who are my true friends, and who pretends to be one. Hope you can do the same.
Well, that's all for now, i want to enjoy this feel good feeling. Hope the sun will shine on all of us, and Allah keep us away from any harm. Amin...

Read more...

Mak aih...

Loh, my new degree class only got 1 student?? Guess gonna be one-on-one learning for 14 weeks... zzzz... Nevermind la, she's not bad, got ask some questions. Klu x, lgla bosan,mcm ckp sorang2 je. This time da syllable is more complete, so guess it could be fun.
N then just conducted a meeting for my program. 1st time jd director, huhu. Nsb baik ada Mr. Raja, he helps a lot. Well, most of us in that room are pretty green in experience, so it's a learning process. Besides, blh masuk dlm appraisal ujung tahun nnt, hehe. Really hope this program will go just fine, and if it's successful maybe we can make it on a grander stage, probably inter-university level, according to Mr. Raja. Wow, that'll be something.
This week has been an eye opener for me. 1 event nearly made me piss in my pants. Could have destroy my ****** if things went wrong. Nsb baik Allah loves me, He protected me from harm... Thank you Lord, as without you, i'll be lost and become nothing.... Lepas ni i don't want to make da same mistakes again. Let this be a valuable lesson for me. As usual, i always need to learn it da hard way...
Well, that's about it for this week, esok hari Jumaat nak pakai baju yg warna cream tu ke kerja. Baru shave muke, rase mcm ringan 2 kg, hehe. Just kidding. Alrite, i'll update when any stuff happen. Salam

Read more...

My sunshine has arrived

Time to continue this never-ending journey...
Monday lepas just got my interview for my appraisal. If i can get 3/4 of my salary for my bonus, i'm grateful already. Tp klu dpt lebih lgla best,hehe. Got some ideas to do, so hopefully i'll proceed with it n get support from MUCH. But that "thing" keep poking it's nose where it don't belong. Very irritating la... Never mind, just ignore it and do my stuff
Feeling much much better now, all the headaches i was feeling two weeks ago are gone. Now i can see clearer, vision's improved much better. Why should i waste my time on something or someone that's not worth it? There are much better prospect for me out there, just waiting for me to grab on. I deserve to have the best, because i only give the best. Wonder what's up for me next? Whatever it is, i'm sure it'll be much better than my previous one, i hope... The person that i'm looking for may not be near, but as long there's trust and loyal, we'll be fine
Love, career, money, faith to God, it's all in my mind. I will keep looking for my life partner, hope it's getting closer, no matter how far she is... Career wise, well i'm aiming for much better, so that one day i can be proud for what i've achieved. And for money, i just want to give a good life for my family one day, and send my mom for her 2nd Umrah, InsyaAllah... And dear Lord, help me to be more faithful to You, so that i will be closer to You... And help me through easy or rough times, as i'm weak and only You can give me strength to continue on this path You've laid upon before me...

Read more...

What's next?

Hm... what a way to start the new year. This is not what i had in mind, but like it or not, i have to face it. Feeling much better now, wounds are healing, brain start to function normally again, and things are getting better for me. To those yg terasa dgn i, i'm really sorry, but i just hope u guys understand what i was going through, klu x faham pun, bt2 faham je la ye? :)
For my fucked up love life, i'm still thinking whether to move on or still wait and see. I just hope i'll get the answer a.s.a.p. so that it will not bug me anymore. I still dunno what decision to make, but i really want to get it over with. I dun want to complaint so much, but i really hope to end my search for "The One" and be with someone who can truly appreciate me for being me...
For my work, i'm really bored because there's nothing to do in the office, have to wait until the 25th because that is when my new classes will start to commence. Until then, g ngacau org n fb all day long la nampaknye, hehe. And then balik umah, continue fbing and ym with my friends.
Today's 14th, still got more or less 351 days to go until the end of the year. I pray everything will go smoothly after this, in whatever aspects it may be, and only good things will happen to me, my mom and family, and also my friends. And may God guide me to become a better Ummat and person each and everyday...
Till next time, Salam :)

Read more...

Surpass da 100 mark

Wow, my blog dah lepas 100 visitors... although probably 1/4 from it is from my own visit (hehe) but still i'm hepi ade jugak org dtg blog i. Obviously u all mmg xde keje lain time tu, right?
Anyway, thanx for da visit, n keep visiting. N i hope u all blh give ur honest comments or thoughts that can help me and fellow visitors, maybe some ideas about anything :) so, to celebrate this occasion, i'm putting a picture that got nothing to do with anything. Enjoy ;)

Read more...

Welcome

Wow, only now i started creating my own blog. No pics yet, no serious comments, in a nutshell, this page is under construction,hehe. But anyone who view this page is welcome to add any thoughts you desire, i hope we can share ideas and opinions here. Gossips also are welcome ;)
I will complete this page a.s.a.p. so hopefully whoever read this please be patient. Until my next post, Salam :)

Read more...